An Argument for Pain

It’s All a Big Lie.

We shouldn’t feel pain.

It’s a big lie, and I hear it mumbled by so many clients, and in nearly every direction I look.

We’ve bought it, hook like and sinker and it causes us so much suffering.

This toxic belief is that the pinnacle of wellbeing, the reward for success, the ideal state is that of happiness.

That we are supposed to get to this place where only happy, feel good emotions happen to us.

While I would love to say that I hate to break it to you, that would big fat lie too.

I would be totally doing you a disservice placating you like that.

Because the longer you hold on to that garbage can belief you’re going to experience a lot of suffering in your life.

The Case for Pain

You’re not supposed to be happy all the time. You’re not supposed to feel fantastic, warm fuzzy emotions all the time.

And because people have this toxic belief that the goal in life is to feel good all then time they end up causing themselves an enormous amount of suffering in attempt to avoid, resist, react to, distract from, and numb painful emotions.

We tend to shield ourselves, our children, our loved ones from potentially painful experiences to prevent the hurt we anticipate.

In fact,  we cause ourselves far more suffering than actually experiencing the negative emotion.

Because when you truly experience the emotion you can process it, learn the lesson, and let go.

You realize it is only a vibration in your body – that the real thing you feared was the negative thinking/feeling feedback loop that you have created.

The Greatest Growth through Pain

If you looked back over your life with an honest assessment, you’d recognize that the biggest lessons, growth and successes came on the other side of the biggest trials, the hardest moments. the ickiest emotions.

“It’s not an accident that shit makes the best fertilizer” – Tom Shadyak

Our pain, the hard stuff, helps us grow into better, stronger, more capable versions of ourselves.

Our human experience is supposed to be full of light and darkness, rain and rainbows.

It’s the contrast that makes it so amazing.

Yet we cut ourselves off from experiencing the full range because of our fear of the “bad.”

Action Signals

What if you decided to reframe the way you experienced negative emotions from something to be avoided at all costs to what they truly are: action signals that something needs to change. 

Negative emotions exist to tell us that something needs to change: our perception of the problem or our procedures for handling the situation.

Pain has a very intentional, actionable purpose if you allow it.

That’s it. That’s not so bad, right?
How would your life change if you adopted the believe that you aren’t supposed to be happy all the time and that negative emotions are messengers to help you improve your life? Comment below, I want to know!  

 

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