How to Feel Worthy in Five Steps
We all want to feel worthy. Worthiness feels great. But the problem is that we spend a lot of time not feeling worthy, believing that we are good enough to be happy. That we aren’t deserving.
Girl, I can’t scream it loud enough: You are worthy just as you are. You are enough. You are magnificent, wonderful, and absolutely deserving exactly are you are in this moment.
There’s absolutely NOTHING you can to to change your level of worthiness. You either are, or you aren’t worthy. AND, if you are here, if you are living, if you are a breathing soul wandering this beautiful planet earth: YOU. ARE. WORTHY.
I get it. I know what it’s like to struggle to own and accept that. So much of our society screams at us to not believe that…because when you don’t there’s so much money to be made, you’re so much easier to manipulate and control.
So here’s five tried and true steps I use with coaching clients to help them feel more worthy:
Step 1: Reject Garbage Thoughts
But what if you rejected the thoughts rattling around in your big beautiful brain that’s leading you to believe that you aren’t good enough? That you aren’t worthy? That you’re unlovable.
How would your life change if you decided to create space around that thought, to not allow it to dictate your emotions and drive your behaviors in life?
I’m not asking you to give it up, and usually you can’t just decide to stop thinking a well-practiced and rehearsed thought.
Action: Write down all the garbage thoughts that are on repeat and undermine your self-worth.
Step 2: Imagine Yourself Owning Your Worthiness
BUT, what if you put that space around it and allowed yourself to imagine your life without that thought dominating your life?
The best way to change the thought is to imagine who you would be without it. Get excited to know that gal and then you can become her.
Action: Answer these questions in your journal: If you didn’t believe those garbage thoughts, who would you be? How would you feel? What actions would you take differently? How would your results in life change?
Step 3: Make a Decision
You get to decide what thoughts you will think, which thoughts you will believe. YOU can decide which thoughts to think. And that is the power of changing a thought. You feel different, which makes you act different, which creates different results.
The thought that you aren’t enough, that you are unworthy, or unlovable – that you have to change and be a different person in order to be enough, to be worthy or lovable is just a thought and it ain’t real. It’s not the truth.
We decide which thoughts we will believe. We decide which thoughts we will practice time and again. So why keep a garbage can thought on repeat, giving it the power to make you feel shitty and fall short of your potential?
Action: write down a stress-free reason or benefit you receive by keeping each garbage thought. Then write down a stress-free reason to ditch each thought.
Step 4: Write New Thoughts
At this point you may have already decided that it’s not worth it to keep the garbage thoughts. Good for you, I knew you could do it! It’s impossible to feel worthy when you accept thoughts that undermine worthiness.
So what will you choose to believe about yourself instead?
Something important to consider – if your garbage thoughts have been SUPER negative or held for a really long time, you might need to pick a neutral thought to avoid your brain immediately rejecting the new thought.
If you try to go from “I hate myself, I have no redeeming qualities, no wonder why no one loves me” to “I am the most fantastical amazing unicorn of a woman” that negative voice is going to override “OH NO YOU AREN’T” when you try to think the new thought. So you might need to pick something neutral and once you have practiced that enough to believe it then continue to replace with thoughts that are incrementally more positive.
Action: rewrite the garbage thoughts into new empowering beliefs about yourself.
Step 5: PRACTICE Thinking Your New Thoughts.
You will feel worthy the more you practice your empowering thoughts. Anything you practice with conviction and commitment you will turn into a new habit. Follow this process and install some new habits of thinking that will make you feel worthy, no matter what.
Action: Intentionally read your new thoughts each morning and evening. Put them up on post-its on your mirror or other places where you slide into garbage thoughts. It’s okay if the garbage thought comes back – don’t beat yourself up. Just tell yourself “I choose not to believe that any more, and I choose to believe this thought instead: _____________.”
Comment below: what is one garbage thought that you are committed to replacing? How will you ensure that you practice your new empowering belief until it is a new habit of thinking?