How to Say No and Get More From Life

Do you overextend yourself? Can’t say no? Have to help everyone who asks?

You’re probably stressed, exhausted, feeling like crap, and running on empty.

I was a chronic yes woman. I wanted to help everyone and be involved with as much as possible. I rarely said no to anyone, except to myself. I said no to getting enough sleep. I said no to getting enough exercise and eating healthy. And worst of all I said no to keeping my stress in-check. I was helping everyone at the expense of my own health, wellness, and life priorities! Honestly, I wonder how much I was truly helping others when I was such a mess most of the time.

Does this sound painfully familiar? Here’s how I was finally able to start saying “no” to others so that I could say “yes” to myself.

“No” is the new “Yes to Self”

Take a minute to slow down. Realign with your purpose, those things that are most vital and important to you, your goals, and your vision for the future.

Then, recalibrate your “yes machine.” Start allowing yourself to say no to those things that do not help you get closer to your purpose, happiness, or your vision for the future.

It might be hard at first, but I promise, in the long run all those “No’s” will help you feel like you have time, energy and excitement in your life. Plus, people who see you say no to live a better life will feel inspired to do the same.

And the world needs more people living in honor of their passion, purpose and goals and fewer people who are stressed, exhausted, cranky and running on empty!

Simple Tools to Help

I love this simple one-minute meditation from Gabrielle Bernstein’s book Miracles Now:

Lie down on the floor and envision a waterfall of light pouring over your body. Breathe deeply in and out of your nose. As you breathe, allow yourself to sink deeper and deeper into the floor. Continue to envision this waterfall of light pouring over you, calming you, cleansing you, and restoring you.

Gabrielle explains the importance of recharging your body (battery) with positive energy, “Often we get stuck in the mentality that we’re not accomplishing anything if we’re not overwhelmed and stressed. It’s ironic when you consider the fact that overwhelm only slows us down by stealing all our energy.”

Here are some of my favorite essential oils to use when I need to reconnect with my vision and purpose, fill up my tank, and truly act from a place of generosity and love:

  • Wild Orange: this oil inspires abundance, fosters creativity, and supports a positive mood. It also restores physical energy and aids in transitions…I love using this oil to help let go of a scarcity mindset and get my workaholism back in check.  This oil also helps to promote a healthy immune system, which if often needed if you’ve been taking on too much.
  • Bergamot: this is the oil of self-acceptance. Often we overextend and help everyone else because we don’t feel great about ourselves. This oil will help you give yourself permission and the courage to feel good, lovable, and optimistic/hopeful. When you love yourself unconditionally you will always choose to fill your cup first.
  • Basil: this is the oil of renewal. If you’ve been burning the candle at both ends you’re likely feeling overwhelmed, fatigued, low energy and having trouble coping with life’s stressors. Basil strengthens the heart and relaxes the mind, and helps the body to restore its natural rhythms of sleep, activity and rest. This oil will help you feel energized, renewed, rejuvenated, rested and strengthened.

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