The Truth About Self-Confidence
How often do you feel like you have to be awesome or perfect in something to feel confident? It’s a trap that we allow ourselves to fall into, because we don’t know the truth about self-confidence.
The truth is, that self-confidence is not created from competence – from doing or achieving. It is created from our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.
Want to feel confident? Think confident thoughts.
What is Self-Confidence Really?
First, let’s start with the definition of self-confidence, courtesy of the Google:
“a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgment.”
Nowhere in that definition does it say that we have to be a rockstar right this very minute. It does, however, say that it’s about trusting ourselves and our ability to learn and grow into the person we need to be to gain competence.
Think about any skill you’ve mastered. You didn’t know how to do it at first but you figured it out through trial and error, through commitment and practice. Now you show up with confidence that you can perform it at any time, right?
You would have never learned that skill if you continued to believe that you have to be competent before you can be confident.
Really think back, was there a belief – a confidence and knowing – that you could learn it?
A belief in your ability to learn and grow into it?
Sure there may have been self-doubt during the journey, but your faith in your ability to learn helped you power through.
What Confidence Does Not Include
Confidence does not come from your actions and results. Confidence does not come from the acceptance of others either. Self-confidence is created by your thoughts.
If you have garbage thoughts like:
“I’m such a failure”
“I can’t do that”
“I always give up”
“They’re all going to laugh at me”
You’ll never create the feeling of self-confidence that way. You will never show up with confidence. You will never create the result you desire with that line of thinking.
I know and believe that we are all 100% worthy, exactly as we are.
That if we get out of our own way and show up for our dreams and desires we can create all the confidence that we need to be successful.
“Confidence comes from the space of believing and trusting in your ability to do whatever you set your mind to, that even if you make a mistake or fall short you will become a better, stronger, more capable version of yourself” – Brooke Castillo
Begin to cultivate your trust in your ability to do the thing, to figure out the thing. I love how Marie Forleo teaches that “everything is figureoutable” and I truly believe that now.
Stop beating yourself up for not having the ability to do it now.
Stop comparing yourself to other people who have far more practice at the thing than you do.
Think thoughts that will allow you to believe in your ability to become that awesome too.
Because you can. And you should.
You are 100% capable and worthy of
being that person too your own amazing and unique version of awesomeness.