COACHING IS THE ANSWER
WHAT IS A LIFE COACH?
A life coach is an individual who has the knowledge, skills and training to help you maximize your full potential and create results in your life that are different than you would have experienced by default, without intervention. A coach helps guide you through the process of change. A coach will help you get clear on the future you would like to create. Working with a coach you will also determine the most impactful actions you should take and hold you accountable to making progress. And a coach will help you identify the limiting beliefs that need to be replaced in order to make the desired change a reality.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COACHING & THERAPY?
I think there’s absolutely a time and a space for both therapy and coaching in helping people improve their mental health and wellness, but depending on where you are at in your journey through life one might be more fitting for you than the other. The biggest distinction is that therapy is past focused and the goal is normal functioning, whereas coaching is future focused and the goal is unlocking your potential and maximizing your results.
So I’ll start by explaining therapy and then move on to life coaching for the contrast.
- Past focus: Therapists will help you work through things that happened in the past that are impeding your progress in the presence.
- Therapists help you process and release trauma and mental illness that interferes with everyday life demands.
- The goal of therapy is to help you return to “normal functioning” – where trauma and/or mental illness does not prevent you from getting out of bed, working, having healthy relationships, etc.
- Therapists will help you heal old wounds, which is important if you have never processed your trauma.
- Spend a lot of time talking about what’s in the rear view mirror
- Future focus: life coaches will help you create a goal and vision for your life and hold you accountable for creating something other than your “default future” – the future that would happen without intervention or change.
- Any big goal/change will trigger your brain to throw shade to maintain status quo. This is normal but your survival brain will try and convince you there’s something wrong with you.
- Life coaches will help you process and release emotions, self-doubt, and fear that come with change.
- Tony Robbins explains that “A results life coach is someone who helps you identify your goals and develop an actionable plan to achieve them.”
- A life coach will help you maximize your full potential and reach your desired results in life.
- And design, create and accomplish a future that is different than you would have arrived at by default with no coach, creativity and commitment
HOW CAN A COACH HELP ME?
People usually decide to hire a coach when they realize that they want to uplevel in one or more areas of their lives. They have a vision of a better life or business, but haven’t been able to create that change on their own or are unsure where to start. They realize that they need new knowledge, skills and abilities, often in mindset and emotional wellness in order to create the change they seek. They value the guidance and support of having an unbiased neutral party to help them sort through the challenges inherent in change. They seek accountability to help them create a higher level of results, consistently achieve their goals, and fulfill their potential. If you’re ready to maximize your potential and take your life to the next level then you’re ready to work with a coach.
WHAT’S IT LIKE TO WORK WITH A LIFE COACH?
All coaches and programs are different, so this may differ depending on who you choose to work with and what area you choose to focus on. Most often a coach will start with a free consultation to determine what’s going on in your life that you would like to change and determine if working together would be a good fit for both parties. Together you’ll craft a customized action plan and begin working together to make that a reality. Coaching is very active in comparison to therapy. It’s typically full of dynamic conversation, you’ll engage in a lot of questions to help uncover the root of the problem and the most impactful way to solve it. A coaching relationship creates a safe, nonjudgmental space where you can be truly seen, heard, understood and guided to your best self.
WHY DO I NEED A COACH?
I believe that if you have a brain you need a coach. The oldest part of our brain, which I like to call Survival Brain, has done an incredibly great job helping us evolve as a species. But this primitive part of our brain is now holding us back in this modern world. Absent of all the lurking dangers that are no longer present (you know, like that big tiger that isn’t going to try and eat you) your survival brain turns very small, minor things into huge dangerous problems. To be as efficient as possible, Survival Brain creates habits of thinking and habits of behavior so that it doesn’t have to use as much brain power and conscious awareness to complete these routines.
Because Survival Brain pushes us toward pleasure, we end up seeking out many things in life that give us short term gratification at the expense of our long term wellbeing. We end up seeking comfort, distraction, indulgence – even when we know it is terrible for us because it feels so good right in that moment.
The problem is that while trying to be as efficient as possible Survival Brain often keeps us in really unhealthy, harmful and stagnant habits because the pain of the known is far better than the pain of the unknown.
Survival brain is the one who sabotages any change you try to create, who overrides your good intentions and holds you hostage in fear. As we have evolved as a species, we have grown our Human Brain. This is the part of the brain that differentiates us from other mammals. It allows us to plan, strategize and think about our thoughts. This part of our brain is our higher consciousness.
Our Human Brain allows us to create goals, to desire change, to visualize a better future. This brain also allows us to recognize how we might not be in alignment with that vision we desire. So Human Brain gets us excited to change, to grow, to adapt and evolve. And we often get super excited for this change and begin to move toward it. That is until Survival Brain throws the monkey wrench.
This is because Survival Brain does not want us to change – remember – it creates habits of behavior and habits of thinking in order to be as efficient as possible so energy and attention is available for scanning for threats (you know, that dang tiger that’s not trying to eat you anymore).
Survival Brain assigns a whole mess of pain to change and throws all the shade when you try to change – self-doubt, limiting beliefs, fear and all the unhealed garbage in your life. And usually, Survival Brain creates enough discomfort that we give up, lose interest, or fail before we even start.
But Human Brain is smart enough to know that the habit of thinking or habit of behavior needs to go in order to have a better future.
It’s almost as if the two parts of your brain is at war with one another. This awareness allows us to recognize the war exists, but not enough tools to be able to win the war.
Our Survival Brain then tries to convince us that there’s something wrong with us because we are at war with ourselves. That there MUST be something wrong with us. That we’re the only one who must be this dysfunctional. But the reality is that this is so dang common. We are all fighting this war until we learn how to be the leader of our brain.
We can train Human Brain to have the tools to override Survival Brain. It takes a lot of energy and effort, but with intention and practice it becomes the norm. This is the work I do with my coaching clients. I help my clients learn how to lead their brains so they can ditch the mental chaos that blocks mental excellence. Mental excellence is the secret to realizing your full potential and unlocking consistent performance and results.
THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN HIRING A COACH…
Hiring a coach is an important decision. You need to select the coach who is the right fit for your current situation or problem, your goals, and your personality. You need to be able to trust and open up to your coach. The most important question to ask yourself is “Am I truly ready to change?” If you’re not ready to change, to put forth the effort, or to take inspired action then you’re not ready for coaching.
The question about training and certification always comes up. There’s no one single or widely recognized life coaching certification or training program. There’s no single regulatory, licensing or governing body either. There are some organizations that want to regulate the industry while selling certification which is a bit of a conflict of interest.
The upside to there not being tons of regulation is that there’s lots of different ways you can be coached. You can find a program and methodology that truly fits where you are at in your life. The downside is that there’s a low barrier of entry for coaches. This can lead to individuals who offer big hype and low results. This can create skepticism about life coaching and or the need for coach.
But coaching has to be good if people keep signing up for it, getting results, and transforming their lives. It’s a $1B industry, according to Harvard Business Review. Even highly decorated Olympians like Michael Phelps have coaches to trim even thousandths of seconds off his lap time.
Here are some good questions to ask yourself before hiring your coach:
- What do I want to accomplish?
- What kind of coach do I need?
- How much can I invest in coaching?
- Do I need customization or structure?
- What results has this coach helped others create?
- Are they coaching me or giving advice? (hint: you want the former, not the latter)
- Do I click with this coach? Do we have chemistry?
- Does this coach have a coach?
- What does my gut say about working with this coach?
HOW DO YOU HELP PEOPLE?
I help clients transform from normal functioning to high performance, from mental health to mental excellence. I use evidence-based research in my design and approach to working with clients. It’s not guessing and it’s not advice. I didn’t just pick something that worked for me and ask you apply it. It’s grounded in solid research by the top scientists, psychologists, medical doctors and peak performance researchers.
I love my coaching practice because I’ve designed it to be able to work with people all over the world, you don’t have to be local to be one of my clients!!
WHAT ARE YOUR COACHING PROGRAMS?
My current coaching program offerings are the Limitless Life Coaching Program and the Limitless Results Coaching Program. I offer both individual and group coaching packages. In the fall I’ll be launching a new offering so check back soon!
Here’s some of the most important things that I work on with clients:
- Clarity of Vision/Goals: often my clients are chasing the wrong things or don’t even know what they want. I help them create inspired vision and goals for their ideal lives.
- Mindset: we must learn to be the leaders of our brains so that we can stop being the followers of fear. I teach practical tools to help my clients become the observer of their thoughts, because our thoughts create everything in life. Everything starts with a thought; our thoughts create our emotions; our emotions drive our actions; and our actions dictate our results in life. Want better results? You must start with thoughts.
- Emotions: Everything we do in life is to feel or avoid feeling a certain way. Most of us don’t know how to own, accept and feel negative feelings. Instead we distract, numb and avoid feeling the bad which ends up creating a lot of suffering in our lives.
- Relationships with others: the biggest source of stress in most of our lives comes from our relationships. I help my clients learn what they will tolerate, create healthy boundaries, and check in on the unwritten expectations they have that may be adding to their frustrations.
- Relationship with self: our very most important is often our most neglected relationship of them all. I help clients stop the cycles of self-loathing and self-abuse so that they can show up with confidence, feel worthy, and prioritize self-love and self-care.
- Taking action and holding you accountable to the change you seek: don’t just learn new things. Take consistent, inspired daily action and you can truly achieve anything you desire. The key word is action.